Aiming for being a "Good Enoughist"
In my latest post The Power of your INTENTION I mentioned perfectionism and how big of a difference it has made in my life to understand what both of these concepts mean and where they come from inside myself.
I believe it's important to address the topic of perfectionism as it is a common "goal" for many of us and it can create very toxic ideas in our minds.
But what does it mean to be a perfectionist? Here's how we can better understand it:
According to the University of Texas, perfectionism is:
Setting standards beyond reach and reason.
Never being satisfied by anything less than perfection.
Becoming depressed when faced with failure or disappointment.
Being preoccupied with fears of failure and disapproval.
Seeing mistakes as evidence of unworthiness.
Becoming overly defensive when criticized.
Do these sound familiar?
There is an inner battle I fight daily to stop myself from falling prey to the horrors of perfectionism. Thank the universe for guiding me in this path of self discovery, awareness and consciousness. Because of it I have found wisdom and words of encouragement, such as Dr. Brené Brown's message in her book "The Gifts of Imperfection" where she writes:
I am a recovering perfectionist and an aspiring good-enoughist.
Being a good enoughist sounds like a pretty awesome idea right? Trusting that what you are doing is good enough. Believing it's good enough. Knowing that your worth is not based on the results you get, the comments, the likes or the failures.
Aiming for enjoying the process just as much as we enjoy the results, bounce right back from our falls, seeing our mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning to embrace helpful criticism.
You. Are. Good. Enough.
The situation is Good Enough.
I found this amazing quote on Deepak Chopra's site and it truly stirred something inside me:
We must learn to live in the moment, to accept everyone we meet, and to see every situation we find ourselves in as perfect in that moment. When you stop struggling against what is, you’ll discover the wonderful opportunity that’s waiting for you. By welcoming everything, you’ll be able to create a future beyond your wildest dreams.
There have been many moments in my life where I've felt the need to change what's happening. Someone is acting in a way that makes me mad, someone says something hurtful or I see something that makes me angry. In the end it's about control. It's about me wanting to control (unconsciously) how a situation is unfolding.
What is the resulting emotion we oftentimes feel when we are going through those moments?
Anger, frustration, despair, guilt, shame. A wide variety of negative emotions.
What Chopra suggests is accept the moment as is. Realize that it is perfect in its own way. Every moment has the power to teach us, inspire us and guide us to growth. ACCEPT IT.
Believe me, I know how difficult this can be, it can be so difficult it actually hurts.
Here are some tips I've tried recently and that have made a big difference during those moments:
I hope you find these tips I've mentioned useful in your life. Hopefully this message can inspire you in your own path toward a brighter life.
See you in the next one!